Thursday, October 16, 2014

{31 Days} Preparing for Baby # 3 - Letting Go of Expectations

Welcome to my {31 Days} series this year!  We will soon be welcoming baby # 3 and I realized that there is a lot I need to do before that happens!  You can find all the posts in this series here.  Thank you for following along with me.



There was a time when I wanted to do everything the “right” way.  I still somewhat feel that way.  I wanted to make sure that I had a natural child birth – I didn’t want to have a cesarean.  I wanted to make sure that my kids have the best and freshest (local) food available to them.  I want to be Susie Homemaker.  But, over the years I have realized that I need to let go of some of those expectations.

This pregnancy has been no different. 

When we found out we were pregnant, I had a very long list of things to do.  In fact, when my mother’s helper was here this past summer I looked at that list every time she was here (and several times she was not) realizing that my list was not getting checked off. 

At the end of the summer, when I knew my mother’s helper was going back to school, I panicked a bit.  I hadn’t accomplished all that I had planned on accomplishing.  What was I going to do now?  I was starting our homeschool year early, and had not even considered the time after the baby was born, only the time leading up to the new baby.

I think that oftentimes we try to do it all.  Mothers seem to have an immense amount of pressure on them.  Whether we work outside the home, and try to juggle raising our children, housework, cooking while working full time, or you are at home with your kids all day, attempting to homeschool, cook everything from scratch, make sure that you are keeping everything clean…it is enough to make your head spin.

We cannot do it all.  Instead we have to let go of some expectations.

Some of the expectations I will be letting go of in the first days (weeks? months?) of a new baby are the meals I make.  I try hard to make everything from scratch, but I do not think that will be realistic with a new baby (although I do wonder how mamas did it 150 years ago…).  Instead I will rely a bit more on convenience, knowing that a happy mama is going to be a much better person to be around than a stressed out mama.

The state of my house will be another “letting go” moment.  And if you are coming here expecting to see a clean house, you will be sorely disappointed.  Actually, I think I gave up on a clean house 2 babies ago J  If we have *some* clean dishes and clean clothes and clean diapers, I will be a happy person.  If there are toys strewn about the house?  Just realize that we are here all.day.long. and I am not crawling around after my kids to pick things up!


What expectations do you let go of when you have a new baby?

7 comments:

  1. I try to let go of some commitments outside of the home, and although we are both extroverts and love to be social, we turn into homebodies and just enjoy time settling into our new family. And maybe you already do this, but before my third I spent a day prepping freezer meals ahead of time. (My husband took the big kids and I stayed home to cook!). This was sooo helpful and I was getting convenience without compromising healthiness - win, win! Congrats on your third!

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  2. What a great post! I think you need to do exactly what works for you as a family and for yourself! I think it's so easy for others to judge and so freely state their opinions but they have no idea what your personal situation is! Queue the FROZEN music - LET IT GO! :) You are doing a great job and looks like everybody is healthy, happy and taken care of - that will also be the case with the new babe in tow!

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  3. I really need to work on this. My son is two and my daughter is five and there are days when I still feel like I don't have it together. I love much of what I do (write, blog, dance, attend MOPS) but the things that need to be done most (laundry, dishes, cooking, house cleaning) I wish I could do without. I wish there was a way to adjust expectations while still keeping some of the things I enjoy. It seems like they are always the first to go.

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  4. I remember thinking I could have my baby on Friday (I had a scheduled induced labor appointment), and then spend Sunday making substitute teacher plans for my maternity leave. Ha! That didn't happen! Over the years, as we raised our girls, I've learned that it's better to accept help from my family (the kids can put their own toys away if they want to eat--and they don't have to be put away to my melancholy standards of neatness), and my husband can fold the laundry--and he doesn't have to fold the towels the way I like them. Everyone is much happier that way!

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  5. relaxing my standards is a must, or i just get stressed out. standards of cleanliness, from scratch meals, even my appearance for a while--but once things calm down and we get used to the new little one, it works out!

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  6. I had to let go of my life expectations. I had heard what people said about having a new baby, but until I was finally home with my new baby everything started to click. I was so lucky to have family come to visit and meals delivered. Everything has changed for the next time, except I still want to do a natural birth. :)

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  7. Despite my best efforts, I had a few expectations before I had my first... which dissolved as soon as I went into labor. Yes, I would love an epidural, thank you - if the baby is sleeping, you better believe I'll be sleeping - there is no shame in buying baby food (although, I do get a local organic brand) - and there maybe clean *houses* but this is a home and we're too busy living to keep everything spotless all the time. :)

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